


Dark Lord of the Plush

by avada_matata



Series: Only Heroes Get Action Figures [3]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Rise of Empire Era - All Media Types
Genre: sorry if you like random rebel soldiers bc they dont make it out of this, space walmart, the warnings are just for vader killing the rebels its not really a shocker
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-02
Updated: 2017-08-02
Packaged: 2018-12-10 04:07:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,081
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11683695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/avada_matata/pseuds/avada_matata
Summary: Vader's hunt for the rebellion leads him to another Space Walmart, where he finds a familiar face.





	Dark Lord of the Plush

**Author's Note:**

> I told you the next one was gonna be Vader lol this is purely for my own enjoyment I really don't know what you want me to say. I don't know how likely a situation like this would be in canon, but that's kind of the point right?

A volley of blaster fire assaulted Darth Vader from the far end of the aisle he stalked past. He easily deflected them back to their owners, two rebel soldiers dropping dead while the rest ducked behind the shelves. Vader paced quickly down the aisle, thundering footsteps and unmistakeable rasps of his respirator increasing the already palpable fear pervading this small yet insistent band of rebels. Stepping over the two corpses, Vader caught the tail-end of the soldiers fleeing the aisle. Reaching out with the Force, he grabbed the last one’s ankle, yanking the man in his direction. A quick flash of Vader’s lightsaber cut the rebel clean in half. 

He reached through the Dark Side of the Force again, sensing the presence of the remaining handful of rebels down the next aisle over. Another push in the Force sent the back half of the aisle crashing down, cutting off their escape route. 

Their terror peaked as Vader rounded the corner, bathed in the blood-red glow of his lightsaber. With shaking fingers, the soldiers attempted to fire at the looming behemoth to no avail. Stray blaster fire smartened the shelves, floor, and lighting fixtures, creating a strobe-like flickering as Vader bore down on them. He ripped their blasters from their hands with the Force, slicing them apart with his ‘saber. 

Weaponless, the soldiers attempted to scramble over the debris closing them in. At a gesture from Vader, the rebel closest to the top of the pile was flung into the ceiling, then slammed to the floor with a sickening _thud_ that left blood on the linoleum tiles. Two soldiers picked up the nearest objects, a broom and a frying pan respectively, holding them in defensive positions. If Vader hadn’t been Vader, he might have laughed at the absurdity. Instead, he swiped his lightsaber at the man shielding his face with the frying pan, slicing his head and the pan clean in half. The other soldier screamed, at least until an invisible grip constricted around his throat, and he was choking instead. 

Vader unclenched his fist, releasing the dead man. He sensed one rebel remaining. 

With a powerful Force blast, the debris closing off the aisle was cleared to make a path. Vader deactivated his lightsaber, striding purposely down the aisle. One rebel wouldn’t be nearly enough to incapacitate him. 

Vader's finger hovered over the button to comm his men when he saw something on the shelf that made him pause. 

It was -- himself, as a toy. 

Not like the child’s mask he had been given by the Lothal rebels. A handful of small Darth Vader figurines next to a battalion of mini stormtroopers. There were a few masks, but that wasn't what had made him pause. 

Plush toys. 

They ranged in different sizes, from no bigger than the palm of his hand to the length of an average humanoid baby. 

_Why?_

He knew his Master profited financially from Vader-centric merchandise -- he could thank the Lothal rebels for that bit of information. The figurines didn't bother him; he was...familiar with those. But a plush replica of himself? The point, as his Master kept insisting, of Vader’s overwhelmingly threatening appearance- the mask, the respirator- was to instill fear. It most definitely worked with himself; not so much with the toy. 

Vader poked one of the plushies in its stomach. He blinked in surprise (not that anyone noticed) when it let out a pathetic imitation of his breathing. He scowled at it under his mask. 

There was no way Sidious hadn't meant it as an insult. To say it was making light of his horrifying physical condition was an understatement. He should be angry at it; Sidious probably _expected_ him to be angry at it. Maybe that's why he wasn't. He felt only indifference and slight curiosity towards the toy. 

_Do sentients actually buy this for their younglings?_ he wondered. 

Vader was interrupted from his thoughts by the lone rebel soldier, bravely charging straight at him with a loud battle cry. 

He stood, as if bored, as the man slammed his fist into the Sith’s torso, doing more harm to his knuckles than his enemy. Vader hadn't moved a millimeter. 

The rebel took a step back, cradling his broken hand, eyes widening in terror as Vader turned his mask to look at him, drew back his fist, and punched him square in the jaw. A loud crack sounded as the man instantly crumpled, head hitting the hard floor. He didn't get back up. 

Vader pressed the comm, speaking into it. “The rebels have been subdued. Send a squad of troops to sweep the area.” Though the outing at the local GalactiMart hadn't given any important intel, it had at least allowed him to remove this small rebel cell. 

“Yes, Lord Vader.”

Vader switched off the commlink, considering the shelf in front of him. Only the corpses of rebellion’s soldiers had seen Vader tuck a palm-sized plushie into his belt; they wouldn't tell a soul. 

___

Air hissed out of Vader’s helmet as the apparatus in his meditation chamber detached it from his suit. He blinked several times as his vision switched from tinted red to the bright interior of the chamber. The change from the controlled atmosphere of the helmet to the pressurized air felt like a cool breeze to Vader’s burn-damaged skin. Shifting his weight to achieve the closest possible position to “relaxed,” Vader removed the palm-sized battle trophy from his belt, holding it level with his face. 

The stuffed caricature stared emotionlessly back. 

Vader pinched its cape with the fingers of his other hand, letting the plushie dangle. He frowned, studying it for inaccuracies, in which he found many. Though, to be fair, Vader didn't remember modeling his suit for any toy companies. He let the toy drop into his waiting hand and gave it an experimental squish. It too emitted a rather high pitched respirator-aided breathing sound. He squeezed it tighter until the sound ceased. 

Vader did not have many personal items. He could count them on one hand. His lightsaber. His suit. A strand of silks beads, an ever present reminder of his failures. There was a medical droid that tended to his consistent injuries, but he was at loathe to call it a possession. The last object was contained in a compartment in this chamber. He opened it, slipping the plush version of himself inside and shut it tight. 

Vader wasn't sure how he felt about being a plaything.

**Author's Note:**

> yeah this is prob ooc for vader but let me live a little


End file.
